My promise to kids

By now you’ve all heard the story about New Jersey teen, Rachel Canning.  Miss Canning is attempting to sue her parents for financial support, among other things, after moving out of their home because she didn’t want to abide by their rules.  There has been a lot of commentary about the situation, with many folks recalling their own childhood and how their parents would have handed their butts to them if they had tried to pull such a stunt.

In reviewing the situation, I have to ask in what world are we all living where a KID can decide that they can do whatever they want whenever they want, decide that they no longer have to abide by their parents’ rules, leave their parents house and move in with a friend, and then force said parents to continue to support them financially (with legal backing) so that they can continue to do whatever they want whenever they want??? (Insert blank stare here.) 

The level of disrespect this young lady has shown towards her parents is just absolutely unbelievable.  I come from a family where respecting our elders is very important.  At that age there is no way I could have had a 1:30am curfew (in fact, NONE of my friends had that type of curfew), use foul language towards my mom, nor could I just tell my mom that I was moving out because I no longer wanted to follow her rules (I’d have to make it to the door first). Don’t you know my behind would still be sore???  If not sore, the memory of the consequences would still be fresh in my head.  And what I would like to know is just what do you have going on where, prior to the age of 18, you have to be out until 1:30 in the morning?  I know a few types that are regularly out at that hour, and they’re not nice, wholesome KIDS in high school.

Now let’s be clear here, while I’m Team Parents on this one, Miss Canning’s parents are not totally innocent in this.  They created this monster.  In my opinion, they too deserve a slap upside the head.  I won’t even go into the fact the father of the friend whose home she moved into is currently footing her attorney bill.  (Insert side-eye here.)

So far a New Jersey judge has denied Ms. Canning’s initial request, cautioning that this case could lead to more claims by teenagers against their parents.  Y’all I really and truly hope this family can straighten all of this out without another trip to the court house.  Can you imagine what a case like this could do to so many families???  What are your thoughts?


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21 Comments on Hey Mom, Dad – Look, I’m Suing!

  1. Samantha
    March 7, 2014 at 4:31 pm (4 years ago)

    I can’t begin to fathom the family dynamic and circumstances that would lead to this. I find it terribly sad, though I’m hoping it gives every side pause to reflect on their own behavior. I see it as an opportunity to look at the family I’m building and check to make sure we have respect, boundaries and support.
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    • beignetmamas
      March 9, 2014 at 12:59 am (4 years ago)

      Samantha, that is so true. Both sides are at fault here, and this wasn’t an overnight thing. From what I understand, this couple also has a younger daughter, so I truly hope that everyone involved can learn from this, rectify the situation and heal.

      Reply
  2. Brandi
    March 7, 2014 at 5:38 pm (4 years ago)

    I saw this all over my feed this week and decided not to read it….I got the just of it from just the headlines. It saddens me that we have to deal with these types of first world problems, there are so many more important things. I pray this girls realizes that someday.
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    • Natalie
      March 7, 2014 at 7:35 pm (4 years ago)

      The precedent set by this case is extremely important. Rachel is spoiled and disrespectful. The fact that she thinks her parents should continue to financially support her floors me. Yes, her parents apparently spoiled her. But, no, they should not be funding her lifestyle.

      I will say that I could not wait to move out on my own, but I supported myself. Never would I have considered suing my parents. In fact, they borrowed money from me.

      Sad state of affairs with this case.

      Reply
      • beignetmamas
        March 9, 2014 at 1:16 am (4 years ago)

        Natalie, yes, this is very sad. What’s bad is that once this is over and done with, it will take some time before she will stop being associated with this incident. I’m thankful that the judge did not entertain this case, and had enough common sense to recognize how this could encourage other youngsters to attempt to do the same.

        Reply
    • beignetmamas
      March 9, 2014 at 1:06 am (4 years ago)

      Brandi, I’m pretty sure she didn’t expect this case to get the national media attention it did. And I’m especially sure that she (and her friend’s dad) didn’t expect for her parents to get all of the rallying support, and her own name dragged through the mud. This is a very sad situation, and it’s unfortunate that this is how she is starting off her adult years. I hope they can all get through this as a family.

      Reply
  3. Missy Kierstead
    March 8, 2014 at 12:02 am (4 years ago)

    It’s hard to judge another family when none of us are perfect, but I have to wonder how spoiled this girl was. Clearly, she has a sense of entitlement, but why are the courts even entertaining this?

    Mostly, I can’t read it. I am not a big fan of teenagers in general!
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    • beignetmamas
      March 9, 2014 at 1:40 am (4 years ago)

      Fortunately the courts did not entertain it – the judge turned down her request. What I really don’t understand is how another parent can get involved in this and actually encourage a lawsuit. As the mother of a toddler it shows me the importance of raising a child that’s respectful.

      Reply
  4. Kim @ WampumHome
    March 8, 2014 at 12:46 pm (4 years ago)

    I saw a brief blurb on the news about his and pieces all over the internet.. I couldn’t read, because quite honestly.. any teenage temper tantrum shouldn’t be given any large amount of attention. This girl is almost being encouraged with all the media attention. Not sure what all is going on, but if ‘I” was the judge, I would 1. Mandate counseling individual and with parents 2. Mandate this child get a job working in a family shelter, possibly have her parents work there too. 3. Put child in custody of courts, possibly a group home (that would let her see how good she has it!), at the very least make her report to a court appointed liaison weekly with random spot checks. I think they all need a dose of reality..
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    • beignetmamas
      March 9, 2014 at 2:21 am (4 years ago)

      Kim, I think those are all excellent ideas! I’m glad that the judge did not let this go any further. It’s unfortunate that it would take a situation like this for this family to be forced to examine their own behavior. I could never imagine even thinking about doing something like this when I was that age. Hopefully this young lady will come to realize just how fortunate she has been. It scares me to think of the other kids in her “circle”.

      Reply
  5. Cherie @ In Cherie's Words
    March 8, 2014 at 5:29 pm (4 years ago)

    I was actually going to write a post regarding this on Thursday but then decided against it. It just pisses me off that this girl is getting this much attention and what the possible future similar stories this will bring. I’ve read other stories similar (like the one suing their mother for bad parenting) and it saddens me that these kids will do these things to their parents. I had a really bad upbringing from my father, but suing them isn’t going to change anything. I just don’t get kids these days.
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    • beignetmamas
      March 9, 2014 at 2:37 am (4 years ago)

      I’m glad that the judge shut this lawsuit down. This could have spelled disaster for the court system. So many kids today act as if they are entitled to everything, and it’s because of the parenting they received. This is the “Me, Me, Me” and “I, I, I” generation. The thought that these are our future leaders is truly terrifying.

      Reply
  6. Amber
    March 8, 2014 at 7:01 pm (4 years ago)

    WOW, I hadn’t heard about this but it is crazy!!! I would never ever have dreamed of doing anything like this when I was a teenager. Where have respect and moral values gone these days??
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    • beignetmamas
      March 9, 2014 at 2:42 am (4 years ago)

      Amber, respect and moral values went out the window a while back. It’s like anything goes these days, and it’s quite sad. I wouldn’t DREAM of doing something like this, and no one that I know personally would either. Teens these days are cut from a different cloth. The levels of disrespect with many of them is just unbelievable. I wonder exactly when or how did this breakdown happen for us to get to this point.

      Reply
  7. Kristen from The Road to Domestication
    March 10, 2014 at 2:37 am (4 years ago)

    I saw this and was pretty amazed LOL I mean, really?! I can’t even begin to imagine what my parents would have done if I had done this! (Probably because I never would have done this LOL) This girl has no clue – wait ’til she has kids of her own.
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    • beignetmamas
      March 10, 2014 at 5:47 pm (4 years ago)

      I wonder at what point does common sense (or decency) kick in for these kids to say “you know, this is not right”? No one thinks long term anymore, it’s all about immediate gratification. The whole thinking is “Act first and deal with the consequences later”.

      Reply
  8. Jill @ Called To Be A Mom
    March 10, 2014 at 6:02 am (4 years ago)

    Looks like she can be a little manipulative. I see these examples very often. I don’t think we should be enabling kids. I agree that discipline styles were a little different back when I was growing up as well. We all knew respect and my parents taught me to go work and support myself. We currently live on one wage. I’m a SAHM. We still make it but we learn that it was also important to spend time with your kids. I do not like that most families have both parents working and a lot of kids are being raised by single parents. We started letting the rules change twenty years ago and we are reaping the rewards now.
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    • beignetmamas
      March 10, 2014 at 5:56 pm (4 years ago)

      Unfortunately you have alot of parents that try to use money to compensate for their time. They don’t have the time to spend with their kids so they GIVE them whatever they want to make up for it, creating a child with a sense of entitlement. I don’t know if that’s what happened in this particular case, but somewhere down the line this young lady came to believe that she was owed everything and then some.

      Reply
  9. Stephany
    March 10, 2014 at 1:23 pm (4 years ago)

    Okay…I haven’t been following this story but I must say….it sounds like nonsense. I agree with you 110%. Both parties need a slap upside the head. I do believe the generation of today is of a new breed. They have a whole lot of nerve that I wouldn’t even think of having – okay maybe i thought it but wouldn’t dare bring it to fruition, lol.
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    • beignetmamas
      March 10, 2014 at 6:05 pm (4 years ago)

      Stephany, I am grown and long gone from home and I still couldn’t even imagine being this disrespectful. Society has catered to these kids so much that you have parents living in fear of discipling their own kids, and these kids know it! In my opinion, that’s where the boldness and disrespect comes in. They feel they can do or say anything without any serious consequences.

      Reply
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    October 9, 2014 at 10:54 am (3 years ago)

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